


When the Rain Falls

by LadyArtemis



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Angst, Awkward virgin sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-War, Sacha is bad at this, Snuggling, sadfeels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-08 23:22:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyArtemis/pseuds/LadyArtemis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-War, in which Aleks ends up on Sacha's doorstep bruised and soaking wet; how Deimos lost his voice, and how they both lost their virginity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sacha = Cain
> 
> Aleks = Deimos

Rain. Hard rain, unrelenting, pounding against Sacha's leaky roof in the cramped apartment he shared with his sister. Not like the rain on Earth, though Sacha had never seen it. This was colony rain, one of the miserable side effects of the artificial atmosphere constructed so they could fucking breathe on a planet never meant to house human life, didn't house human human life after all, none of them really counted. Just a junkyard to throw away humanity's trash, keep Earth pure for the ones who did. 

It hadn't rained like this since Sacha's 16th birthday 3 weeks ago. There was no thunder, just the not so steady drives of rain and howling wind that kept people indoors if they knew what was good for them. Earth rain might be refreshing, washing away the debris and letting plants fucking grow, but Colony rain only made everything more damp, more miserable, more dead. Something from the pollution from the factories, maybe, or whatever they used to make the atmosphere in the first place. Shouldn't even really be called rain. More like the Colonies pissing on them, or maybe the universe.

No one should be out in weather like this.

But someone was, someone pounding their fist erratically on Sacha's thin aluminum door. At first he thought it was the rain, but the noise continued, grew more frantic. With a scowl he tossed his porno magazine on the floor and trudged towards the sound, whatever would make it shut up. Maybe Tash was drunk again, forgetting she didn’t have to knock on her own fucking door. Maybe she had forgotten her keys.

The pounding stopped when he was halfway there, cut off abruptly, suddenly silent with only the droves of rain in the background. Sacha hesitated with his hand on the doorknob, wondering if that would be the end of it and he could go back to his fucking porno, but he then heard a _thunk_ , lower on the door this time, and he figured if Tash had just passed out he should probably at least drag her out of the rain.

But it wasn't Tash slumped with her head against the door, it was someone smaller, paler, more fragile. He almost didn’t recognize the soaked and shivering mess at his feet, until he raised his pale grey eyes to him.

Sacha cursed, throwing the door behind him and pulling at Aleks, dragging him up to his feet, letting him collapse into him when he couldn’t support himself. He stumbled backwards, dragging Aleks with him, out of the rain, out of the storm. 

Aleks clutched at his chest, soaking him all the way through, so cold and so shivering, claws digging into him so hard it started to hurt.

“ _Myshonok_ ,” Sacha snarled, the name somehow sounding like a curse as he grabbed his bony little shoulders and yanked him back, at arm's length, so his eyes could roam over him, try to find out what was wrong. 

It didn’t take him long- his throat was a mess of darkening bruises, ugly in the unmistakable echo of fingers choking the life out of him. 

“ _Saa_ \- HA!” Aleks tried, the noise coming out like broken glass, the last syllable cutting off into a terrified and high-pitched rasp. He looked so fucking terrified, hands going to his throat, eyes blown wide cringing like he'd forgotten how hurt he was.

The noise that wasn't Aleks' voice scared Sacha too, and he stumbled back a step, eyes wide and mouth twisting. “Fuck! Aleks, what happened??”

Aleks' eyes were watering now, hands still trembling at his throat. Swallowed, tried to say something, coughed. And then kept coughing. His whole wet body shook with it, dropping to his hands and knees with heavy spasms. Sacha's heart beat faster, standing there staring at him in dumb terror.

It eventually died out, and Aleks sat back shaking, arms around himself and hollow-eyed. Blood trickled from his mouth, dripped down his chin, stained the tshirt plastered to his skin.

Sacha eventually pulled himself out of his stupor, still not really sure what the fuck to do, but he dropped to his knees in front of Aleks, swiftly pulling off his shirt and wiping the blood from him with a curse. Grey eyes slowly met his as he cleaned him, scared and shell-shocked. His expression twisted further, opened his mouth to try again, but Sacha just snarled and shoved the shirt over his lips to stifle it. 

“Don't. Whatever the fuck is wrong, that'll just make it worse,” he growled, almost sounding angry, but that was just how he sounded when he was really scared. It made Aleks tremble a little harder, choking on a raspy sob.

He pulled at Aleks' scrawny arm, urging him to his feet and then over to the crappy shower stall at the back of the house. They'd be lucky to get 15 minutes of hot water, but hopefully that was all it would take to wash the acid off his skin, to warm him up a little because he was so fucking cold. Sacha stripped down of his clothes, wet from holding Aleks, so he should probably shower too. And Aleks still looked so shell-shocked, he was afraid he might do something stupid like pass out in the shower and drown.

Aleks peeled his wet clothes off as well, a little harder for him from how bad he was trembling, but not shy about it in the least. He and Sacha had seen each other naked plenty of times, growing up together in the Colonies, if you could call it growing up. It was nothing new, nothing sexual, just two scrawny bodies with too many bones showing and not enough meat to go with them. 

“Come on,” Sacha said, almost gently, but looking so goddamn uncomfortable as he touched Aleks' arm. He wasn't good at this, didn't know how to care for him, didn't even know what the fuck had happened and Aleks couldn’t tell him. Wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He dragged Aleks into the cramped shower stall and flicked on the water, freezing cold for a couple minutes before the warmth started to kick in. Aleks shivered, clutching at Sacha, but they were way too naked for that kind of touch and he shoved him back with a snarl. Wished he hadn’t been so cold when his grey eyes darted up, full of so much hurt and rejection. Sacha apologized by lathering some soap in his hands and rubbing Aleks' shoulders down with it, trying to scrub off the acrid smell of the rain.

Aleks fell back against the wall, closing his eyes as Sacha scrubbed him down, whimpering when his fingers brushed over his bruised throat. Sacha clenched his jaw as he leaned in to inspect his wounds, brows knitted together as he tried to figure out how bad it was. He slowly raised his eyes up, found Aleks watching him mutely. 

“Who did this?” he demanded with a snarl. “Was it that _mudak_ , your stepfather?”

Aleks stared at him for a long couple of heartbeats, opening his mouth but thinking better of it, nodding instead. Just a little bit, so Sacha wouldn't have even noticed the movement if he hadn't been watching him so intensely. 

His lips drew back in anger at his affirmation, hands on Aleks' shoulders clenching involuntarily, only letting go when he saw him flinch and realized he was hurting him. He had that mad look in his eyes, the one he got right before he disappeared for days on end, returning covered in cuts and bruises on his knuckles and face.

He slapped off the water, slammed his shoulder hard against the stall door to open it, storming off to his room to grab a clean outfit.

Aleks started, forgetting his own ordeal for a moment and suddenly terrified of what Sacha meant to do. He caught him as he was coming back out of the room, pulling a shirt over his head.

“Sa-ACH-” Aleks rasped, grabbing for him frantically, begging him.

Sacha scowled and shoved away from him, walked past him. “I’m going to fucking _MURDER_ that fucking dickhead, no one lays a hand on-”

“ _SACH-ha _,” Aleks shrieked, must have devastated his already ruined throat with it, gasping and coughing as tears stung his eyes. It was enough to get him to hesitate, caught between going and killing the fucker and not wanting to leave Aleks here alone. He wasn't sure what he would come back to.__

Aleks swallowed, coughed one more time, held his hand up as his lip formed words his voice couldn’t, eyes wide and desperate. _Please._

__Sacha's shoulders slumped, still half-turned towards the door. He wanted to go solve this in a way he knew how, with his claws and his teeth, didn't know what the fuck to do around Aleks, certain he would only make it worse. He was never good at this, almost angry that Aleks was here, expecting him to try. But he had to try, and he knew if he left him now there wouldn’t be a Myshonok to come back to._ _

__He shoved his roiling anger deep down, swallowing it and hoping it would stay there for awhile. Walked over to Aleks, fingertips brushing the ruin of his throat with scrunched up brows. “I can't afford to take you to the hospital,” he said, low and ashamed, hoping it wasn’t so bad after all, maybe it just looked bad. Bruises were like that sometimes._ _

__Aleks' shook his head softly, wincing when the movement hurt him, and brought his hand up to grasp Sacha's. Stared into his eyes as he lowered their hands, intertwining their fingers, pulled him towards Sacha's bedroom._ _

__Sacha understood, realized Aleks needed some rest. He half-helped him under the covers, tucked him in afterward, and then turned to leave. Aleks made a strangled little noise of protest, sitting up fast._ _

__When Sacha looked back, he saw the pleading look in his eyes and frowned softly. Weren't they getting too old for this? But if that was what Aleks needed, someone curled around him to feel safe, then that was something Sacha could do for him. He gently closed the door and then slipped into bed next to him, letting Aleks roll and clutch at him as he tried to get comfortable. They ended up with Aleks' head on Sacha's chest, the lazy thump of his heart soothing in Aleks' ears, Sacha's arm around his shoulders and keeping him close. Legs intertwined lazily. He made a contented little noise, even that raspy, as he fell into a coma of exhaustion._ _

__Sacha lay awake, staring at the grey ceiling. He was still too wired to sleep. He listened to the constant drum of the rain against the roof, Aleks' warmth and weight feeling good next to him, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Even if he they were too old for this, weren’t two scared little colony kids anymore. Or maybe they were. Maybe that was why they would never really escape each others orbit, would always come back to each other when the rain started to fall._ _


	2. Chapter 2

It was still raining when Aleks suddenly bolted upright in a coughing fit, hacking out his fucking lungs and clutching at his throat. It startled Sacha, who had just managed to drift off to sleep. “Aleks...? Aleks! Hey!” he hissed, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking, like that would fucking help anything.

Aleks let out a harsh cry at his violence, tearing himself away from him, but it had stopped the coughing at least. Now he was just gasping- no, _wheezing_ , trying desperately to suck in air through his damaged throat.

Sacha just stared at him with wide eyes, hand still in the air and trembling. What the hell had that bastard done to him?? He didn't care what Aleks thought, as soon as he had him back to sleep he was going after that miserable fucker who called himself Aleks' dad.

But then Aleks was pawing at him, breath still shaky but it didn't sound like he was on his last breaths anymore. Knowing by now not to try and talk, he curled his hand, bringing it towards his lips and hoping Sacha understood.

It took him longer than it should have, and that made him curse. “Water?”

Aleks nodded, licking his lips, swallowing and trying not to cough again. Sacha slid off the bed and across the house to the kitchen. Found that Natasha still wasn't home, perhaps she had stayed over at her boyfriend's. That was fine with Sacha, one less mess to deal with. 

He started to get a glass for water but then his eye caught a bottle of vodka sitting out on the counter. He picked up the bottle, looked down at it and smirked to himself. He'd bought it for himself for his birthday, since he hadn't gotten anything else, and he might as well take advantage of being legal age. Cost about a month's worth of his pay, but he was sure it would be worth it. They could probably both use a distraction from this nightmarish night.

He returned to find Aleks still on the bed but with his knees drawn up, head between them, his bangs completely obscuring his face. Sacha touched his shoulder gently, but when Aleks looked up at him he was surprised to find he hadn't been crying. He just looked in pain.

Sacha held up the bottle, and his lips twisted up in self-satisfaction when he saw Aleks' eyes widen, and the blink rapidly. When Sacha sat down and started to open it, Aleks made a strangled little noise, grabbing Sacha's hand to stop him.

“What?” Sacha snorted, giving him a sideways glare. “You've gotta be sore as hell, and I sure as fuck don't have any painkillers.”

Aleks gave him a pointed and frustrated scowl, tightening his grasp on Sacha's hand. He swallowed, his throat bobbing with the difficulty of it, and tried to speak. “ _Expenssst-_ ” He broke off with a pained cringe, eyes screwed shut, but Sacha knew what he was getting at.

“No shit it was expensive, but what do you want me to do? I bought it to drink it, dumbass, I'm not just gonna put it on the fucking mantel like a fucking decoration.”

Aleks frowned, and Sacha knew with a guilty little prick that that wasn't exactly Aleks' point. It wasn't the fact that such an expensive item was going to be used, it was that it was going to be used on _him_. They may have been friends for a long time, but Aleks had never been truly equal to Sacha, always following in his shadow instead of standing beside him. He didn't deserve to, didn't deserve the best Sacha had to offer, didn't really deserve him at all. Sacha knew that was how he felt, and he also knew it gave him too much of a power trip for him to do anything about it.

But he had made Aleks a promise, a silent one maybe, but a promise nonetheless. He had to at least _try_ to make him feel better. So he shoved Aleks' hand away and yanked out the bottle's cork, the loud POP making them both jump a little. Sacha brought it up to his nose, sniffed curiously, licked his lips and shrugged. “Can't be too terrible, Tash sure seems fond of the stuff,” he murmured and took a big swig.

Before he had even finished swallowing he was coughing, eyes watering and throat burning, but quickly tried to stifle it. Fuck if he was going to let Aleks think he could be bested by a little vodka, but it was already too late. When he glanced over at him his shoulders were shaking in laughter, but it quickly stopped once Aleks realized what ugly little noises he was making. He touched his throat and frowned, biting his lip and staring at a patch on Sacha's quilt and looking like he was going to have a breakdown after all. It made Sacha's stomach turn, realizing he'd never get to hear his beautiful little laugh again. 

Just one of so many things about him he took for granted, and now that was gone. 

But he didn't want to think like that anymore, and didn't want Aleks wallowing in it either. So he shoved the bottle at him, waiting to meet his eyes so he could give him a smirk. “What, think you can do better, _Myshonok_?” 

Aleks gave him a stubborn little glare and snatched up the bottle, putting it up to his lips- such pretty pink little lips, another thing Sacha had never taken the time to notice- and swallowed as much as he could. It must have been hard, especially considering the state of his throat, but all he did was clench his eyes shut, those pretty pink lips going into a hard line as he tried not to gag. Eventually he opened his eyes and gave Sacha a smirk.

Sacha swore, grabbing the bottle back from the proud little shit, taking another large swallow. He bit back a strangled noise as it went down, shuddering a little but keeping it down without coughing. He stuck his tongue out at Aleks. “Wipe that smug look off your face.”

They took turns besting each others' reaction to the vodka until they didn't even notice it anymore. The bottle was soon half gone, and Sacha had had ample time to notice more things about Aleks he had never taken the time to notice. 

_A lot_ of things.

And with the room tilting and warmth flooding him from head to toe, he saw no reason why he shouldn't tell Aleks what those were. “Your eyes are so.... pale,” Sacha gaped, leaning his face way too close to Aleks' and pushing his fingers against his cheekbone as he tried to get a better look at them. Hard to see them most of the time, with Aleks always hiding behind his hair.

But Aleks mistook his compliment, glaring and trying to escape his prying fingers.

“ _Tsst_ ,” Sacha scowled, grabbing his arm roughly so he couldn't get away. “Not like that, dumb fuck!”

“ _Ugly_ ,” Aleks rasped angrily., a little easier to talk now that his throat was warm and numb.

“Nuh-uh,” Sacha spat, aggressively pawing his bangs to the side so he could look at both of them. “Pretty. You have such pretty eyes, Myshonok.”

Aleks stared up at him in wide eyed confusion, so terribly confused why Sacha would think anything about him was beautiful.

“I know you don't see it,” Sacha slurred, his fingers relaxing and moving a little, petting the sides of his head. “So fucking hard on yourself.”

But with Sacha practically straddling him, ass on Aleks' thighs, it soon became clear that wasn't the _only_ thing Aleks was hard on. Sacha stiffened, staring down at Aleks almost angrily. “The fuck? You a slutty drunk or something?”

Aleks' already flushed face turned even darker, suddenly trying to shove Sacha off of him so he could run away from this embarrassment.

But Sacha wasn't about to let the little shit get away, and he grabbed him to shove him onto his back, pinning his wrists beside his head with a snarl.

Aleks made an ugly little scared noise at how Sacha had overpowered him, but a quick glance down made Sacha realize he was even harder from it.

The little shit _liked it_.

He stared down at Aleks with an awed expression, the slosh he currently had for brains trying to think of what he could do with this information. But thinking was too hard, especially when there were all these... _damn his lips are pretty_ ...distractions... _is he licking them on purpose?_

Sacha lost it, smashing his lips to Aleks', devouring those pretty pink little lips and finding they devoured back. Neither of them were very good at it, it was a lot of teeth grazing and wet tongues colliding, but _damn_ did it feel good.

They had only ever kissed the once. Sacha was 12 then, Aleks 13 (Sacha always younger and hating him for it, acting older until it really seemed that way). Playing in some ditch somewhere and talking about girls, because that's what everyone their age talked about. Then Aleks had to ruin it by admitting he never liked girls, had teased him at first but then felt guilty when Aleks teared up, and then he was admitting it too. Aleks hadn't believed him at first, kept fucking crying, until Sacha grabbed him and did to him what couldn't even be called a proper kiss, more smashing his mouth against Aleks' and leaving both their lips bruised. Even so, Aleks had always stuck closer to him after that day.

Sacha had thought it was just because of the secret they shared.

And now they were old enough to know what real kissing was, had watched enough porn to know more than the basics. Sacha fucked open those pretty pink lips with his tongue, feeling Aleks tremble beneath him. He pulled back for air, a trail of saliva connecting their mouths, smirked down at Aleks. “Your lips are pretty too,” he breathed, going back in to nibble at them, at first, testing his reaction, and then biting down.

Aleks jerked under him with a startled gasp, but when Sacha tried to sit back he was grabbing at him, moaning into his mouth, curling upwards to get as much of them touching as possible.

It startled Sacha, but gave him a sadistic little thrill, tasting salty blood in Aleks' mouth. He forced them apart once more, not letting Aleks pull him down again.

Aleks relented eventually, watched him on his back as Sacha trailed his fingers from his lips, down the marred dusty porcelain of his skin, adding both hands to feel out the contours of his ribs. Aleks whimpered under his strong hands, arching up into them, so fucking desperate for his touch. And then Sacha was just making it worse, swooping down to tongue the softness of his navel, relishing the salty taste of his skin, Aleks shaking like a leaf under the heat of his mouth.

The alcohol was making everything swerve in such a beautiful way, no room for thoughts of how they would feel about this tomorrow. All Sacha knew was that he was finding all kinds of new delightful things about Aleks, and the next thing he wanted to explore involved getting his underwear out of the way.

He peeled them off his hips, tongue still making lazy circles on his abdomen as he trailed it lower, just above the base of his throbbing erection. He was so fucking hard even when shit-faced drunk, and if he had any control before he completely lost it when Sacha lowered his mouth to lick at Aleks' precum.

Sacha pulled back an inch with a breathy laugh, looking up at Aleks watching him. “You ever...?” he slurred with a smirk, and Aleks shook his head, panting. Sacha figured he hadn't, no one sucked dick unless they needed something, and no one ever needed anything from two colony rats. Sacha had needed plenty, though, so he had plenty of experience on the giving end.

Still never fucked anyone.

Still never been fucked, and he considered that an accomplishment.

Sacha gave Aleks a wicked look before diving back down and sucking on his leaking tip hard, eliciting raspy little cries and jolts from him. It just encouraged him more, made him bolder, stopping to run his tongue all the way from base to tip before swallowing him once more, trying his best to completely envelop him, finding it pretty easy with the alcohol warming his throat. 

He got so caught up in it he didn't even think about whether he should pull away until he felt sharp little fingers digging into his hair, practically tearing it from his scalp as Aleks came hot and heavy, involuntarily fucking his mouth and Sacha tried not to gag. He pulled away only when his grip on him slackened, his myshonok shaking so fucking hard as he came down from his orgasm, still making little noises with the aftershocks of it. 

Sacha sat up, panting for air, and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand with a twisted smirk. He met Aleks' eyes, who was staring at him with hooded lids, mouth parted, face flushed such an intense shade of red. “You like that?”

Aleks gave a quiet little moan in response, his head falling to the side, chest still heaving for air.

Sacha scowled, crawling forward so he was glaring down at him, so he could capture Aleks with the magnetism of his gaze. “Don't fucking go to sleep, I haven't even gotten off yet,” he snorted, and Aleks looked a little surprised before his face contorted into a laugh without really laughing. He shoved up on Cain, trying to get him to crawl forward, but Cain shook his head at him. 

Aleks looked confused as Sacha leaned down, lips almost touching his ear, contorting into a smirk. “Do you want to know what its like to get fucked?”

His reaction was worth it, turning his eyes sharply to meet Sacha's in bewilderment. His lips fumbled for words but nothing came out.

“Do you want to?” Sacha asked, a little gentler, eyes a little and wider betraying his own nervousness. Aleks melted under that gaze, and nodded. Just a little at first, then vehemently, so Sacha couldn't possibly mistake it. Then he was grabbing at him, forcing their lips into another collision course, sighing into his lips with so much fucking need and desperation. He probably would have reprimanded him for it normally, for being such a needy little slut, but not tonight. Not when he wanted it just as bad.

His hands were shaking as he fumbled to push his boxers off his hips and kick them off, lips still locked together in ever increasing frenzy. If any of it was hurting the bruises on Aleks' neck, he didn't make any noise of protest.

They were naked together for the second time that night, but this was different, so fucking different, nothing he had had ever felt for Aleks before but suddenly in desperate need to. Somewhere in the haze a thought crept in, mercifully, and Sacha suddenly sat up.

“I should get- just hold on,” he panted, crawling off of Aleks for a moment to paw open the nightstand, trembling so fucking bad he almost dropped Natasha's small bottle of lube. Aleks watched him as he somehow managed to get the cap off and rubbed some of the cold gel between his fingers, practically dripping with it before he started slicking up his cock with gentle tugs, not wanting to ruin things and fucking come right then and there, Aleks watching, licking those pretty pink lips again...  
He forced it down with a shudder, grabbing Aleks to him once more, trapping him again with the weight of his body. He was shaking too, but was so ready for it, spreading his legs and hooking his ankles around Sacha's skinny back, practically forcing him onto him. Sacha laughed under his breath at his exuberance, placing the hot and slick tip of his cock at Aleks' entrance, watching him attentively as he pushed in just a little.

Aleks gasped and writhed beneath him, eyes falling closed in sheer ecstasy, his cock rapidly growing hard once more.

Sacha bit back noises of his own, pushing in slow, oh so slow, because Aleks was so fucking tight around him. He had always heard that the first time hurt, but Aleks looked like he was having such a goddamn good time about it. He thought back to his reaction when he had bitten into their kiss, and guessed that maybe he just got off on pain. Such a creepy little shit sometimes.

Eventually he was completely sheathed in him, sweat dripping across his lip and down his back at the intensity of it all. If the alcohol had made him warm, this made him burning, almost feverish. He gave his hips an experimental little jut and watched Aleks gasp out, moaning hard. Fuck if he was going to let him get off _again_ before Sacha had even come once.

He let go of the idea of going slow, snapping his hips into him over and over, watching Aleks' face twist deeper and deeper into hysterical arousal. He was so fucking beautiful like that, laid out naked and sweating beneath him, lips forms around Sacha's name.

And then he was saying it, broken and raspy but unmistakable, “AH- _ahhh_ S-Sach- _AH_!” It sent him right over the fucking edge, vision blasted into white heat and and pure ecstacy, nothing like when he jerked himself off, so amazing he thought he might pass out from it.

Slowly, his ears ringing, he came down, chest heaving for breath and hips still jerking into him, purely involuntary now, filling Aleks with his warmth. As his hearing started fading back in he heard Aleks moaning and rasping, and realized he had come for a second time.

He pulled out, not thinking to be slow about it, Aleks' breath hitching at the sudden emptiness. Sacha flopped onto his back, still breathing hard, lungs hurting like after a good run. Everything felt like jelly, every muscles slowly liquefying and turning to water. He vaguely felt Aleks move on the bed, leaving for a minute and he felt a tremor of panic, thinking he might leave. But then he was back and handing him a towel, and Sacha snorted a laugh, realized they both needed to clean up after a combined total of three orgasms.

He wiped himself off and waited for Aleks to do the same, before tossing the soiled towels onto the floor and pulling the skinny boy towards him. They were back to the same position they were in before Aleks had woken them up, but nothing about it was the same, everything world-tiltingly different. Aleks dropped a couple sleepy kisses on Sacha's throat, purring softly in utter bliss.

There was something about it, that affectionate little gesture, that suddenly caught Sacha off guard. He glanced down at Aleks as he nuzzled against his chest and closed his eyes, his stomach twisting in sudden realization. This wasn't just an alcohol-induced fit of lust for Aleks. He had wanted this all along, for who the fuck knew how long. He thought back to that day when he had first kissed him, replayed Aleks telling him he didn't like girls, had completely missed the way he had looked at Sacha.

Aleks had never liked girls. But he'd never liked boys either- _he had only ever liked Sacha._

He tasted fear on the back of his tongue, not knowing what to do with this information. He suddenly felt like he had to tell him, had to get out what he had promised he wasn't going to.

“When I turned sixteen, buying that vodka wasn't the only thing I did,” he said, voice shaking.

It startled Aleks, who had almost been asleep at that point. He looked up into Sacha's eyes with a question.

“I... I enlisted,” he said, swallowing, avoiding his gaze. Because he knew what telling him meant. Knew exactly what Aleks meant when he grabbed his hand, intertwined their fingers, squeezed hard. He tried not to feel sick about how selfish he was, that he needed Aleks to follow him.

They could never be what Aleks wanted them to be, but Aleks would always be caught in his orbit, unable to escape the magnitude of Sacha's gravity. Even if it hurt him.

Even if it killed him.

And Sacha was too selfish to have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first sex scene ever written for public view O: I didn't make everyone's ladyboners soft, did I?
> 
> Sorry for all the angst, I just have such a screwed up fluff-and-barbed wire view of these two, thanks for reading and thank you so much for all the support! <3


End file.
